Log in

entries friends calendar profile Previous Previous Next Next
Spike/Dawn - Game 1 - Post 10 - Holding On To Forever
Spike/Dawn - Game 1 - Post 10
Feedback may be left at feed_theplayers

I’m just slipping into a clean t-shirt when my bedroom door swings open and Spike’s cell phone comes flying inside.

"Call your damn sister!"

Just the person I wanted to talk to. I shrug, deciding I might as well get the inevitable over with.

“Hey Buffy, what’s up?” I say cheerfully when my sister answers.

She sounds none-to-pleased with Spike or me. I have a sudden bout of paranoia, could she possibly know what I’ve done? Has that little pervert ratted me out?

I mentally talk myself down off that ledge, deciding that it’s just my imagination running wild. Besides, Buffy’s going on and on about the what’s its name demon that she and Angel are tracking. I pretend to listen with all the sincerity a kid sister can muster in times like these. I breathe in a sigh of relief when she finally ends the conversation.

“I love you too,” I tell her before flipping the phone shut.

As much as she annoys me and always has with that ‘I’m so important, I have to save the world’ mantra, I really do love her and miss her, especially now when I’ve screwed up and it would be really nice to have her here to lean on.

Or not, ‘cause she’d probably just get mad and yell at me for screwing up. Maybe it was someone else’s sister I was thinking about.

I toss the phone on the bed and head back to the bathroom to rinse the shampoo out. Then I’m going to deal with Watcherboy. He’s needed a good talking to since he showed up. No better time than the present to go over a few rules.
9 comments or Leave a comment
spike_survives From: spike_survives Date: August 30th, 2006 07:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm out of my mind. I'm also out of shape, apparently. Or maybe most of my cold blood is stationed in my groin area. Whatever the reason, I'm getting the shit beat out of me.

The first unfriendly I saw on my way to Celestine's was a Chaos demon. I still get pissed off when I see one of those ugly bastards remembering the time I caught Dru making out with one.

The problem is that he wasn't alone. My fight or flight response is permanently set on fight, so I don't back down when some of the guy's friends show up. Bad call for Spike!

I'm lucky, though. They don't stake me. They just leave me battered on the sidewalk. I lay there for a while, wondering how my life got so screwed up. I had a nice, quiet life on the island.

I manage to get up and hobble back to the house. I'm so sore all over, I can’t even manage to open the front door. So I do something I haven't done in ages. I ring the bell.
From: auburnhaze1 Date: August 31st, 2006 04:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
Once I get the shampoo all rinsed out I put my hair up in a towel and head downstairs to find Mr. Peeping Andrew. There a few things he and I have to get straight before Spike gets back.

He’s sitting cross-legged on the floor in the living room, books scattered all around him. I’m sure he’s “trying” to look busy, probably a little more show than what reality holds.

“We need to talk,” I say matter-of-factly.

”Busy,” he replies, not looking up from his studies.

“Now, or I start reading out of that book again. Maybe I’ll run across something that will turn you into a frog,” I threaten.

That worked. I now seem to have his full attention. He doesn’t move from his position on the floor, and while I think on what it is, exactly, I want to say, I pace around him and the mess he’s made in my living room.

Finally, I stop, looking at Andrew, “I know you’ve figured out by now what’s going on between me and Spike. I’m not trying to deny what I’ve been doing, but you can’t tell him. EVER!”

”It’s immoral to make him forget like that. Your sister would….”

I cut him off. This has *nothing* to do with Buffy and I intend on making that clear.

“This is about ME Andrew. MEEEE,” I emphasize the *me* part by dragging out the word dramatically and pointing to myself with both hands. Think he’ll get the picture?

Watcherboy starts to say something but I guess by the look on my face he reconsiders.

I continue, “I know it’s wrong and I know it isn’t fair to Spike, but I can’t help myself Andrew. I’ve been in love with him since the summer Buffy died. He’s the only one that’s ever treated me like a normal person and not some freak. I’m trying to control it but this is hard….gods it soo hard.”

Andrew pats the spot on the floor next to him that he’s cleared books from. I take a seat and look at my friend teary eyed.

”I know how you feel,” he says to me, ”I won't tell.”

He won’t either. I can tell.

We’re sharing, like a moment or something, when the doorbell rings. I look at Andrew questioningly. He shrugs but doesn’t offer to answer it.

“Fine,” I say and push up off the floor.

Swinging the front door open I gasp, “OHMYGODSPIKE!!!”
spike_survives From: spike_survives Date: August 31st, 2006 04:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
The door opens with a creak and a shriek.

"Don't shout, Pet, I'm still undead."

I let her support part of my weight while she leads me to the couch in the living room. I nearly fall stumbling over Andrew's books. My eyes are almost swollen shut. She should bring some ice to take care of the swelling.

"Go home, Andrew. Do the research somewhere else. Dawn's gonna look after me tonight. No risk of accidental necromancy."
From: auburnhaze1 Date: August 31st, 2006 07:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
“Ohgodohgodohgodohgod,” I chant over and over as I help Spike in the house.

What in the world did he do? Or have done to him? This is just….

"Go home, Andrew. Do the research somewhere else. Dawn's gonna look after me tonight. No risk of accidental necromancy."

Andrew rushes around to grab a few important books then flies out of the house, slamming the door behind him. I try my best to gather my wits about me and shake away the sheer horror of Spike’s condition so I can care for him.

“I’ll be right back, I’m going to get some bandaged and ice,” I say.

Turning towards the kitchen, I can’t help but keep looking over my shoulder to make sure that Spike’s still there. Consciously I know he’s already dead and nothing short of a stake through the heart or beheading with cause him actual death, but I’m still paranoid.

I pull the ice container out of the freezer and some clean dishtowels from a drawer; there is a first aid kit in the cabinet in the pantry and I hurry to get it.

“Calm down Summers,” I tell myself as I walk back into the living room, juggling all of my first aid supplies as I do.

When Spike looks at me, he gives me a smirk. He knows I’m scared as hell and he’s doing his best to calm my nerves, but even that look; the one that usually sets me on fire and makes me want to jump his bones does nothing. He’s almost gone and gotten himself killed and I’m afraid it’s because of me, and what I’ve been doing to him. Whether he knows consciously or not that he’s being mind fucked every chance I get, the subconscious is letting it slip.

I have to stop toying with him and I have to stop now.
spike_survives From: spike_survives Date: August 31st, 2006 08:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
"Get over here, Summers," I tell her when I see that she looks at me as if I'm made of glass.

She doesn't move so I reach over and grab her hand. When I jerk her to me, she drops everything while she falls on my lap. I put an arm around her waist, holding her tight so she can't get away. She's squirming in my lap, doing some very interesting things to me. I'm getting hard again. I should be appalled, but at least this time, I know the cause of my reaction.

"Shhh, don't go anywhere. Stay with me," I whisper, burying my face in her shoulder.

While my left arm has a viselike grip on her waist, my right reaches up. I thread my fingers through her hair. I pull her head down to me. I say words I never before dared to utter.

"Don't leave me."

It feels so right. I'm ashamed I said it aloud. And I'm ashamed I feel this. I don't want to be left alone.

"You'd like it on my island."

I can't believe I'm saying this. I didn’t even realize how isolated I've been. Loneliness hits me with the force of the three years I spent denying it.

I shouldn't talk anymore. I'm pulling her hair hard, forcing her head lower, until I can reach her mouth. The moment our tongues touch, I feel like the sky has exploded. Fireworks is too mild a word for what I'm experimenting.
From: auburnhaze1 Date: August 31st, 2006 08:20 pm (UTC) (Link)
I’m in shock when he pulls me to his lap and left speechless when he kisses me, because this time, it was him. All Spike and no Dawnie doing the bad mojo thing.

I easily get lost in his touch. As our tongues duel, I can’t help but tingle all over because I realize, finally, that he likes me too. He would have had to for him to do this, with me. I’m the last person on earth he would take advantage of so whatever spurred him into this totally awesome make out session with me was there all along.

I run my hands through his tousled hair, then down his neck, and shoulders. He still has an iron grip around my waist with one arm, but his free hand is making tracks of fire over the rest of my body.

He’s bruised, cut, and bloodied, and I could care less. This is what I’ve been waiting so very long for and I’m finally getting it, without the magic.

I know I should be taking care of him right now. I should be washing his face and bandaging his hands but the need to feel him, to have him feel me is too great. He’ll heal and probably more quickly than I can even bandage him up so I let the thought drift away.

He begins to trail kisses down my neck and that’s when I let go, “I love you…gods I’ve loved you for so long…”
spike_survives From: spike_survives Date: August 31st, 2006 08:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
"I love you, too, baby. Luv you so much."

And I mean it. Fuck me, but I mean it. And fuck her, too. For real.

I opened the buttons of her shirt with a practiced flick of my hand. By the time my mouth is on her breast, my hand is between her legs. When I touch her, I feel like I'm dipping my fingers into molten lava. Feels like my baby girl is a volcano about to erupt. She's wet and hot. I bet she's sweet. I finally place the mystery smell that's been haunting me for hours. It's her. The essence of her arousal.

"If you have any doubts, run now," I tell her, taking my hands off her.

I put my arms on the back of the couch. The image of a mock crucifix. Blood on my face, arms stretched, only one spike, and not through the wrists.

She doesn't run. Her acceptance is heaven. Fuck shanshu! I'd rather have this.

Andrew's voice interferes in my paradise.

"Dawn, you have to stop doing this! You'll hate yourself. Make him forget again, and let's work on this."

"What the fuck?!"

I want to kill the boy right now. Wait! Make him forget again?

"Dawn, what is he talking about?"
From: auburnhaze1 Date: August 31st, 2006 09:33 pm (UTC) (Link)

"I love you, too, baby. Luv you so much."

He confirms what I’ve been dreaming about for so long. He loves me too, Spike really loves me.

I could die in this very moment and be happy about it. After all this time I’ve finally found out that, Spike cares for me as much as I do him.

In an instant he has my shirt undone and is sucking on my bare breasts. The feeling of his cool tongue on me shoots flames down to my toes. I’m riding the wave of euphoria when he pulls back from me, stretching back on the couch, arms strung out on both sides like the picture of the crucifix hanging on our hallway wall.

"If you have any doubts, run now,"

I shake my head ‘no’. I want to say something cool, but the words just aren’t there. I lean in to kiss his lips but Andrew’s voice interrupts.

"Dawn, you have to stop doing this! You'll hate yourself. Make him forget again, and let's work on this."

Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck.

I look to my right to see Watcherboy standing there. When I *needed* him to be the voice of reason he was to fucking busy playing peep show geek to help out. *NOW* that I’m in the moment, the *real* moment and not some mind-fuck induced one he decides to help.

"Dawn, what is he talking about?"

I look at Spike, confusion and a hint of anger cross his face. I start to say something but close my mouth.

Think. Think. Think.

“I….well….you see Spike….” I stammer as I try to come up with something to tell him.

I know I *don’t* want him to forget this. This was real and we can work with this, but if I make him forget then I’ve lost everything; everything I’ve only just been able to touch.
spike_survives From: spike_survives Date: August 31st, 2006 09:44 pm (UTC) (Link)
"Funny thing happened to me earlier today. I found myself stark naked and hard as a rock in this very living room, while Watcher junior here was pounding on the door. Then, and please interrupt me when this starts to sound familiar, I was on the bathroom floor, the WET bathroom floor, and again, at full mast. Kind of like the way I am now. Somebody start explaining before I start taking advantage of the fact that I DON'T have a chip in my head anymore!"
9 comments or Leave a comment