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Spike/Dawn Game 1, post 15 - Holding On To Forever
Spike/Dawn Game 1, post 15
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From: auburnhaze1 Date: September 19th, 2006 06:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
"Nature of the beast, Pet. Comes with needing blood to survive, and having no soul."

I guess he has a point there. Something I maybe would have considered yesterday, pre my freak the hell out and try to off myself phase.

He looks to the paper Celestine left; it’s on the bed, directly next to me. He refuses to lock eyes with me; whether that be his own hesitancy for fear of what he may do or being scare of what he may see in me, I’m not sure.

Regardless, it hurts just a little. Not that I probably don’t deserve that and more for the shit I’ve put him though in the past few days, but still, I can’t help but feel the tinge in my heart.

He reaches out to grab the piece of paper; I react quickly, covering his cool hand with my own.

“I’m sorry,” I confess to him sincerely.

His hesitation does not go away with my words; instead, we stay like this for several strained moments.
spike_survives From: spike_survives Date: September 19th, 2006 06:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
Her warm palm covers mine. Her soft words cover part of the open wound in my soul. I fall to my knees next to the bed, and I bow my head, pressing my lips to the back of her hand. I know it's a little dramatic, but it's the first ray of hope I have that all is not lost between us.

"I know, luv. I was mad for all the wrong reasons. When you broke the spell, my memories came back little by little... I thought I tried to rape you. I would never hurt you, but I killed people when my mind was controlled by the First. When I told you to stay home, all I wanted was to know you safe. Protect you from myself."

The kisses I pressed on her hand were supposed to be my plea for forgiveness. They were slowly turning into foreplay.

"I'm sorry," I whisper softly against her hand and place one last kiss, although I can't bring myself take my hand away from hers.
From: auburnhaze1 Date: September 19th, 2006 07:27 pm (UTC) (Link)
I almost break down completely at his confession. Two lonely souls trying to protect each other from ourselves. Ironic, don’t you think?

The tears begin to trail their way down both cheeks even as I bite down hard on my lower lip to keep from shedding them.

The kisses that he peppers across the back of my hand sends maddening flames throughout my body, and though I realize his actions are not intended to be desireful or wanting, they are; it’s unavoidable.

”I’m sorry.”

He says it in an almost whisper and my body shivers at his tone. I want him now, I realize, more than I ever did before. No matter some silly thrall or a ridiculous spell I may or may not have used.

It is an unavoidable truth in my heart; we belong together.


I reach out and take his face in my hand, begging him without words to look up at me. The blanket falls from my body with my actions, yet I do not rush to move it back; I do not want to.

I have found my peace, and it is with him. Now only if he will see that.
spike_survives From: spike_survives Date: September 19th, 2006 07:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
Her touch on my face feels like sweet absolution. She makes me look up at her. I had heard the tears falling on her cheeks, sensed their smell mingled with her blood, and, if my senses aren't deceiving me, her arousal.

I clench my jaws tightly, but I can't help noticing her body, accidentally uncovered by the fallen blanket. She's mine. I can see it as clearly as I can see I'm hers. As clearly as I can see I shouldn't take advantage of the situation. I shan't be weak. I'll do the abstaining for both of us.

I put the paper in my pocket and crawl next to her on the bed, keeping her hand pressed to my cheek with my own hand. I lean to kiss her mouth, sadly and sweetly, tasting her tears at the corner of her mouth. My free hand finds its place on her breast, making her gasp in surprise.

Just kissing, I tell myself. Kissing and caressing her breasts. That's it. I'll kiss her until she believes that I'm sorry and I love her and I want her, and then I'll do the right thing.

When my tongue enters her mouth, I'm afraid that I might keep kissing her past daybreak. Which would mean we'll have to waste a whole day staying inside the house. And I'm not sure I have enough strength to last until the next sunset without doing something irreparable.

I can't stop kissing her. I think I can do it for eighteen hours straight. If she doesn't push it, I won't get bored kissing her until tomorrow evening.

"The front door's busted," I whisper, giving the girl time to draw breath.
From: auburnhaze1 Date: September 19th, 2006 08:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
I can’t suppress the giggle that wants to escape at his declaration. With everything that has gone on, everything that is going on; his lips upon mine, his hand caressing my breast, that is what he needs to tell me? That the front door is busted?

“I don’t care,” I answer with a smile, the first one I know I’ve let cross my face in quite some time.

I don’t care much either. At the very least there isn’t a vampire besides Spike or Angel who could cross the threshold, my sister saw to that before she left and any thing human or demon otherwise isn’t much of a threat with him by my side.

I resume our kisses as if neither of us uttered a word. I find the distraction of the physical touch calms my body, the pain that was still evident from my earlier attempt at leaving this life subsides with each ministration.

His cool lips feel like Heaven on my body as they trail down my neck. Spike is trying with all his being not to move further down my body, but I can tell it his will power is wavering. Though I want to, beyond all want to urge him lower I restrain myself. There is time for this later, we will have forever to explore one another more fully, I have no doubt.

Instead I close my eyes, allowing the feeling of Spike’s thin, cool lips to send my body abuzz as they mark their territory across my neck and up the other side; making their way back to my mouth where joyfully his tongue begins to dual with mine.
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