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Spike/Dawn Game 1, post 17 - Holding On To Forever
spike_survives
holding_forever
spike_survives
Spike/Dawn Game 1, post 17

The way she comes apart under my touches is just like her name, like a beautiful sunrise. I know there's enough passion in her to come like fireworks, like forest fire, like a volcano. I know it because I brought her to the brink of it three times yesterday. She's too weak now to risk keeping her on the waves of multiple orgasms. I give her one climax, powerful enough to dull the memory of the revelation that her love for me is based on a lie.

 

I lower her legs off my shoulders, but I remain between her legs, resting my head on one of her thighs. I close my eyes, relishing the small shivers still running through her, aftershocks of her orgasm, flaring my nostrils to catch the perfect scent of her temporary bliss.

 

My heart feels heavier with every passing moment. I fear that even this peace offering won't make things right between us. The paper containing the spell and the list of ingredients is still in my pocket. I'm waiting for her body to relax before I let the words out.

 

"Dawn, do you feel strong enough to come shopping with me?"

 

It must be past sunset. I can sense that the sun is gone. As much as I would like to postpone the moment, I'm in too much danger to let myself go if I don't shatter the thrall I have on her. I'm achingly hard now. There is only one way to keep myself from getting my release with her willing aid. I have to remind myself that I would treat her no better than if she were a Buffybot if I took advantage of the state she's in. My inadvertent suggestion programmed her to do everything I'd ever want of her as clearly as the geek had programmed the Buffybot. I couldn’t do this to anyone, least of all to the woman I love.

Current Mood: horny horny

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From: auburnhaze1 Date: October 3rd, 2006 01:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
"Dawn, do you feel strong enough to come shopping with me?"

I knew those words were coming. I knew everything was too good now to last. He wants to go shopping, to pick up the supplies that will fulfill the spell and release me from the thrall he’s put me under.

I don’t know if I should lie, say that my body is too weak to travel, because if we do go through with this….how do I know I won’t die? Maybe not physically, but my heart will die without him. For that, I truly know.

I lay silently for long moments, weighing my decision. I know it is inevitable, and even if I don’t go with him; even if I feign weakness, he will find a way to get the supplies he needs. I need to just face the music and pray for the best results.

If I’m lucky things will turn in my favor, though I rarely feel like a lucky person.

I nod my assent, unable to force the words out. We shall go, we shall get what we need and we shall end this.
spike_survives From: spike_survives Date: October 3rd, 2006 02:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm glad she agrees. At least I'll have the bittersweet pleasure of her company for a few more hours. I know I have to do this. I stand up slowly, sweeping her up in my arms again, to take her upstairs to get dressed. It's going to be a hell of a battle to refrain from going too far. Maybe if I try to justify myself to her, I'll have a better chance of getting though this.

"I can't imagine very well what you're going through. I know the power of a suggestion, but only for a matter of hours, or days. I heard of some vampires keeping it for weeks or months, in rare cases, but not years. It may seem to you that we'd be better off leaving things as they are, that we'd be happy, but I'd be no better than Angelus. Imagine it was Angelus having done this. Imagine you'd love him."

The mere thought makes me so angry I nearly change into game face. Anger overlaying arousal is almost too much for me to contain. I try to relax the muscles in my arms that have tensed so abruptly at the image of Angelus touching her.

I set her to her feet once we're upstairs. We're halfway between her room and the bathroom. She needs to wash out the blood. I want her to know I trust her enough to do it on her own. At the same time, it's a test of endurance for me. I'd like to wash her, dress her up, take every chance to touch her. Before it's too late. Before she sees me without the mind altering thrall.
From: auburnhaze1 Date: October 3rd, 2006 07:28 pm (UTC) (Link)

I move into the bathroom, he at least is allowing me some privacy. Enough that I can cry myself into a stupor. I just know this whole thing is going to end badly. I know Spike thinks that I will somehow see him in a different light once his so-called thrall is lifted. I know better.

It’s the same ‘ol, same ‘ol with him. When he sees me he sees part of Buffy, but I’m not anything like Buffy. I’m not even real for cryin’ out loud. There is no legit Summers blood coursing through my veins. I’m a little ball of green energy, summoned into human form by some monks.

To be honest, I don’t think he ever *could* use his thrall on me, no matter what that batty old hag said. There’s no use arguing the point with him though. Maybe I’m more scared he’ll actually see me for what I really am after this is done than the other way around.

Regardless, I finish cleaning up and dress. Taking a deep breath, I move back into the hallway where he is waiting.

“Let’s get this over with.”
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